You Don't

You Don't
By: Natasha D. Rufin
6th June, 2009

You don't understand me
You don't appreciate who I am
Or what is important to me
Or who I love.
You don't know how to make me happy
You don't appreciate what makes me free
You don't understand the way I feel
I guess for us it was just not meant to be.

Craving...

Craving
By: Natasha D. Rufin
6th June, 2009

Craving to be loved
Craving to be touched
Craving to be held
She allowed you in.
She was stupid.
She bent to your way
She turned to you
Hoping you would be true
Only to be rejected
To be left standing in the cold
As she watched you leave
As she watched you run to another
As she let you have the power to hurt her.

Whenever

January 30, 2009 - Friday
Current mood: hopeful
Category: Writing and Poetry

Whenever
By: Natasha D. Rufin
To: my Cadbury angel...

Whenever I say your name a smile lights up my face
Whenever I remember the way you look
When I said something that surprised you
My heart hurts
Because I wish i was there wherever you are.

I hate how we're apart
I hate not being there near enough to hear the beating of your heart
I see us dancing under star filled evening skies
Hugging each other as we watch the sunrise
I hope that I love you the way that you need
Because whenever I look in my heart I see you and me
A picture I pray lasts eternally.

Se Ou Selman

Se Ou Selman
Written: 10th February, 2009
By: Natasha Rufin

Gade mwen nan tout ke mwen ti chouchou dous mwen
Se ou selman ki gen ke mwen
Se ou selman ki fe tout ko mwen kontan
Kontan tankou on fle sou primye jou prentan
Kontan tankou on papiyon ki ap vole ale a
Se ou selman ki fe mwen konnen mwen libere.

Se ou selman mwen vle rete avec pou tout tan
Paske le mwen reveye minuit avec rev mal
Se ou selman mwen rele
Le ou gade mwen ou we plis pase lot moun
Ou we tout ke mwen
Ou gade mwen le fini ou we tout namn mwen
Se ou selman ki we tout kote mwen toujou kache devan lot yo
Se ou selman mwen vle fe konfyans
Paske se ou selman ki gen tout sa mwen bezwen!

~ ~ ~

Translation

Look straight into my heart my sweetheart
You alone have my heart
You alone make my entire body feel joy
Happy like a flower on the first day of spring
Happy like a butterfly who is flying above
You alone make me know that I am free.

It is with you alone I want to be with forever
Because when I awake at night with nightmares
It is you alone that I call
When you look at me you see more than many people
You see my entire being
You look at me and you see my soul
It is you alone who sees all of the places I try to hide from everyone else
It is you alone that I want to confide in
Because it is you alone that has everything I need.

Melt...

An older poem I recently came across that can't seem to leave me alone. I love it! Hope you guys love it also

Be blessed!
Nat

Melt
By: Natasha D. Rufin
29th October, 200...

I felt the ice inside me thawing,
I've been am ice princess for years
Yet finally someone has come along,
That brings me joy and tears!

You're reaching places no one has ever been,
Places I've kept hidden so far beneath my ice,
So far beneath my cold,
Yet just one look into your eyes
And my heart was yours to have and to hold!

Your smile shone bright ways
That always make me smile and laugh
So much that inside I began to feel the ice melt,
Until I experienced emotions I never felt.

When you're hurt it seems to make me sad,
It makes me want to forget being cold
Yet as I try to it seems that the unmelted ice
Still has me on hold.

So I'm melting into someone new to see
I may hate change yet you're changing me,
As my icy feelings melt and begin to heat,
I'm becoming sopmeone totally complete.

Now I Have You

Now I Have You
By: Natasha D. Rufin

I see your face next to mine
As I open my eyes
As I feel your arms around my waist
I feel so weird being in this place
At this time
With nothing but you on my mind
You free me
Compliment me
Give me something to be happy about
For a long time I didn't have anything
Now I have you...

I Wonder

I Wonder
By: Natasha T. D. Rufin

You are unlike anyone I've met before
A puzzle to be solved
A question to be answered
A mystery yet to be revealed.
I look at you and I wonder,
I wonder what you're thinking?
What makes you laugh?
What is it that makes you frown?
What is it that pics you up when you're down?
What is it that you really see?
I wish I knew.

I want to know you
From the inside out
Figure out the questions you bring to my mind
Find out the person that you truly are
I don't want the mask you show everyone else
I want to uncover your secrets
As I allow you into who I am
Into all of my recesses.

So can I get to know you?
I wonder...

Thinking Of You

Thinking Of You
By: Natasha D. Rufin

I close my eyes
Laying in my room
Thinking of nothing but you
The things that you say
The things that you do.

The feel of your hands on my back
The way I get lost in your eyes
The way I want you to rain kisses down my neck
As I whisper to you that:
"You were right
I was on the edge
The edge of giving it all to you
The edge of losing who I am in the wonder of you!"

As I lay here
I think of what I want to do to you
How I want to love you all over
Kiss all of the scars and pains away
I wonder as I think of you
What it is you find fascinating?
What is it that you really want to do to me?
And if you can be trusted to be true?
I lay here thinking of you...

His Words

His Words
By: Natasha D. Rufin

His words do something to me
I close my eyes wanting to believe everything he whispers to me
Of how he wants to be my one true love
How he wants to tear the walls down from around my heart
How he wants to be my man.

His smooth voice
Beautiful caramel complexion
Well sculpted body
Make me want to be with him
Physically, mentally, emotionally- eternally.

No One...

The following poem is reflective of what I'm feeling/ battling with lately. Keep Psalm 42 and I ask that you pray for me...

Nat

No One...
By: Natasha D. Rufin

It's blowing cold on the outside
The skies are gray on the outside
A smile is missing on the outside
As a heart is broken on the inside.
Cold.
Harsh.
Selfish.
Manipulative.
Is what her best friends see her as
Each word ripping her straight through
Until she could no longer fake it on the outside
Until all she does is ball up crying
Really trying
Not to let the words crush her spirit
She forgot to put her trust in her Father
And Him only
So now she lays here
Feeling so cold
Not wanting to open to anyone
Wanting to shut the petals
Of the rose that has begun to bloom
Close off her heart
Not wanting anything to pierce her gloom.

To one person I'm annoying and clingy
To another I am not open enough
To someone else I manipulate
Who is this person everyone hates?

Tears fall from my cheeks
It shouldn't hurt the way they see me
But it does!
And I can't stop the hurt
Can't stop feeling awful
Can't stop feeling like I belong nowhere
That I'm a nomad without a home
Without real friends or family.

So what should I believe?
The words he says?
The things he doesn't?
The way she thinks I don't care?
Really who am I?

Who do you see me as?
Who does God see me as?
If He could paint a picture of me
What would I see?
Would I see someone selfish and cold?
Or someone who is too open and bold?
Would he paint a Princess with a warm heart?
Or an evil witch who casts spells on each heart?
Who am I?
Why am I here again?
I seriously had thought that my issues were over
That my heart was on the mend,
Now I look at those beside me
Puzzled as I try to guess
Who really loves me?
Who really sees me?
Who really cares for me?
Maybe just maybe its no one...